anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia and more

Several of my friends and family have made comment about this surgery curing my anxiety/ panic attack and agoraphobia disorders. Like it's all caused from being fat . They don't have a clue what hell it is that I go through with these issues. It's not the being over weight .... For one they are conditions and disorders that run in my family. My mother, my grandmother, myself and my 2 beautiful daughters. This is something that I have always had but through several traumatic experiences over the years it has continued to progress to the point it is now. It's not something that will go away. It's something that I take meds to help control and I try to find other ways of limiting the distress that it all causes. I have a service animal that helps with in the home and during travel ( long distance travel ) ... she is still in training and I hope that someday I will be able to take her with me more. But for now she is still a puppy and does puppy like things that would add stress in public. I also avoid places during there busy times of the day. My darling husband is always with me when I do venture out. I usually end up leaving him in the store in the check out line as a rush to the safety of our van. My husband and children are a huge support to me and I am thankful for that.
And it's not just one thing that sets off the panic attacks... It's when the volume is to loud, it's crowds, it's being under pressure, it's small spaces, it's my mother inlaw's visits, it's dealing with my three children's special needs, it's general stress, it's unpaid bills, it's so many more things than I can list. And it's so frustrating when people patrenise you, when they don't get it and do things or make insesitive comments that make it worse.
Now don't get me wrong I love my inlaws but she is so disrepectful of me and our home. The rules of of home and our wishes in regards to our children. I wish she would GET IT and that we could have visits without the stress. This last visit it took me several weeks to work passed it all. I just thank God for my huband and our children. I our dream is to someday move some where remote and peaceful. With fresh air, wide open spaces, tons of trees and wildlife as nature is so soothing .
Thank you for allowing me to rant
Venting is good for the sole.
God bless all who read this
Traci

11 days Post -op

Hello,
Sorry that I have not been writing as much as I should. I finally had my surgery on Sept. 2nd 2009 and everything went great. In fact it was the best hospital stay I have ever experienced or been witness too. The staff was amazing and took excellent care of me and my family as well.
Sean ( my darling husband ) and my youngest daughter both stayed all night with me.
My stay was 24 hours and I was released ... My family has been so helpful and loving through out my recovery.
And I am happy to say that the numbers on the scale are beginning to move :)
I will post soon about my numbers but want to wait until I am 2 - 3 weeks out ... As not much happened the first week.
Other then getting tired easily I feel great ! And that should keep improving over the next week or 2.

I'm also excited ... about the scholarship we received for the new Kroc Center .... It's going to be great for the whole family and an incredible tool to use for my weight loss Journey

That's about it for now
Thanks for reading my ramblings and thoughts
God Bless
Traci